Wow...what a month
In the past month we have had a very sick baby boy, which required a week of hospital, treatments NG tube down the nose, IV needles, blood tests, both ends going, WE had ROTOVIRUS :(
I can handle most things life throws at me, BUT when its your own flesh and blood sick, weak and there's nothing you can do about it except hug, hope and care ALL your coping tools are collated together and you just some how DO IT.
Baby Carter is OK now, I have hit the wall a couple of times, lack of sleep, a chronic illness and emotional stress will do that to ya! But like all things you just keep on keeping on!
I turned 32, I was greeted with a beautiful bunch of flowers from my husband, they weren't just regular flowers though, they were BEAUTIFUL FLORIST flowers, created and amazing! The smell of the Lilies were just divine! They sat on my table just giving me such joy :)
I have been trying my best to make sure I take care of myself. It started with simple nail polish, Make-up like eye liner, lip gloss etc, going for small walks each day, nourishing myself with me time. Its so hard to put this into practice with 4 children. I use to say to my friends and family - "when you see me looking my best its because I'm feeling my worst" so I guess everyday I' trying to implement a "normal" look! I also becomes a reality check and ownership I suppose, you acknowledge the illness and the "cracks" that appear and the constant look of tiredness - Having a baby/kids people expect you to still look tired so I get away with this easier.
Can you relate? Why is it that we are so concerned on showing the real US when it comes to illness? Are we protecting ourselves by hiding it with make -up and nice clothes? Or are we protecting others from our reality? Is this because theirs no set end date to this illness? So Many questions!
Sleep deprivation is my worst enemy, top that off with over doing it with caffeine and you get one HOT MESS!!!
Cam (my husband) is kinda like my gauge, he notices things I guess I don't, simple stuff - like "tonight put your feet up", code words for "your'e a tired ass mess, and you probably need to get to bed" 99% of the time this ends up with me falling asleep on the couch and a gentle tap on the shoulder with being lead to bed.
Well its been a busy morning, and still so much to be done! thank you for catching up and following me on this journey, lets not leave it so long next time!!!!
I will do my best to update my blog at least once a week