In my last post or 2 ago....I promised not to neglect my BLOG...I have been so busy looking after myself and my family things kinda got a little neglected! So just to put things into perceptive it 2:18am and I am BLOGGING!!!!
So wanna know what I have been up to lately! Well first of all I decided to take charge! That's right OWN it - Pull myself out of "THIS" wirl wind of illness and feeling like BLAH and do something!
So I started with Food. I thought I had a big hang up with the stuff, So I went to AA for fat people (weightwatchers LOL) I like became a member worked out my points, looked at the horrid number on the scales, felt more depressed, sat and talked about being fat, heard all the excuses, flipped around my thinking, went home lost some weight eating points and fake chocolate bar things they sell at the meetings and then went HMMMMMMMM (light bulb moement) Why is it that everyone in my house is not fat? Why is it that we all eat the same Yet I am the only one struggling with weight? OK so yep I have had 4 children, Well that's just an excuse really because at aged 20 I had 2 children under 3 and once my baby was one - BOOM I looked awesome! So how come at 32 with my baby now being 1 I look nothing like I did at 20 weight wise, I have no energy, I look like CRAP and everything seems so doom and gloom.....What did I do at 20 that I wasn't doing now???? EXERCISE!!!!!!!!!
WW told me not to "bother" with exercise, in fact just eat our food and it will slowly come off (the weight)
I listened to this and thought NA, I know myself and I know that if I don't start seeing results of some description in like 4 weeks I am going to fail.
Don't get me wrong here, WW is probably a fab program for those who it works for, given my complexity of this illness it just wasn't working for me. I didn't feel ALIVE.
Oh and just in case your wondering why is being written at 2am Bubs woke up for feeding and I kinda stayed awake (I will go back to sleep though after this post I promise!)
So anyway back to the beginning! My aaaahaaaa moment, or what ever you like to call it! So the gym, in my time of being a mummy I have probably had about 5 gym memberships that have helped me lose money not weight, I start of great for the 4 weeks, then find EVERY excuse not to walk in the door, When I am there the workout part is GREAT! Its the starting motivated to get in the door.
So I needed a plan, one that was going to WORK and WORK me, Loads of friends offered to be my Gym buddy, take me for walks, But I already knew that wouldn't last, past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior and Sally would just end up taking that friend out for coffee and CAKE!!!!
I needed a professional.
Someone who can supervisor me, push me, keep me focused and more importantly get me feeling ALIVE again.
I needed a personal trainer!
To be honest when I use to think personal trainer; I would think buffed up, lives on protein shake, banana eating, paints themselves orange person who would probably look at me and go UMMMMM yep you have lots of hard work to do and has zero idea on how my life got to be like this.
So I did some research.....And found one with Empathy, One who got results, but also GOT what being a Human being was about, One who GOT the challenges I faced and was dedicated to customise a program
to fit my needs.
Week 1! DONE!
3 sessions of one hour personal training per week for the next 6 weeks is MY first goal.
How do I feel? ALIVE!!!! I feel ALIVE!
I hurt, I am sore BUT I am ALIVE - I have courage again, I have inner strength that I forgot I had, I have motivation, I have purpose, I have Hope, I see that I can do this!
I see a future.
I was told there was nothing more medically that could be done, I was told I would probably just get sicker and quality of life was what we are treating now - I heard I have no future.
My injuries HURT like heck, my strength in my left side is far lower than my right, my right leg burns, BUT I am going to focus on my abilities - My co ordination is off, I have problems with certain pathways not getting messages through, BUT my spirit of fighting to get WELL is BACK!!!!!!!
Its a long weekend this weekend, I have 3 walks scheduled for my 3 days, 20 minutes of basic cardio nothing too crazy, I have an awesome APP which tracks my calorie/food intake and exercise, But most of all I have a PLAN!
I have a long road ahead to get to my BIG goal of working again, there is going to be some bumps in the road, twists and turns,but in the many road trips I have taken in my life to the most beautiful places the roads have always been full of these! :)
Oh one more thing...Friday evening my husband came home from work and was like WOW! I was like what? He was LIKE, YOUR EYES SALLY they are amazingly clear and so BLUE :)
Got my SPARKLE back apparently! :)
This is my trainer https://www.facebook.com/leighbristowepersonaltrainer?fref=ts
Flex fitness is where I am undertaking my journey to wellness :) Fab gym, great staff and all around awesome!